PP was on leave yesterday, she had to go for a body check up. So I went home earlier after work to take care of you. Wow, I wonder how pp can stand one whole day looking after you. You were always so active. Once I put you down on the floor, you will be crawling all arouind the house. I dunno where else to put you. You never seemed to wanna sit down and rest, do you ever get tired??? Even fast asleep, you will still turn left and right...
Here I really wanna thank pp, she has sacrificed so much for you. First no more mahjong, now I think she is loosing weight taking care of you. She does everything herself. She doesnt allow Yati to do, as she is afraid Yati doesnt know how to handle you.... After you grow up, you had better "hau soon" everyone....
Earlier this morning, Christine told me that Rodney's wedding will be on 2nd Oct. So I guess we will have your birthday on the 1st. Lucky he is not a so close friend, but Davin & family, Gary & Christine & jj might have to leave early to Rodney's pre-wedding dinner. Can't blame them, as long as they come, I will be glad.
Anyway, after the other day talking about your birthday, I was always thinking of it. What theme and what cake?? Yesterday, Nancy called, invited us to her son's first birthday in TGIF, PJ. Funny, why in TGIF for a kid's party? Whatever, I liked it though. I will have yours at home. At least children can run around and rest whenever they want.
I guess I will be catering as you know mummy doesnt cook...
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Birthday Plan
Well although now you are 9 months old, I have been thinking / planning your birthday already. I really wanna give you a birthday party, cause we didnt give you one for your full moon.
I am still thinking of where to have it. Jiujiu said to do it at his place, but I dont think dad would want to. Anyway, we wont invite too many people. Just close friends....
Jada & family, Renee Reeve & family, YingYing & family, Zoee & family, KayShin & family, Davin darren & family, Lauren & family, Christine & Gary, Choon Yew & gf, SaSha & family, Belen & family, Ruey & family, Jonathan & family, julie & Simon, Mandy & Husband, Alvin & Rachmi etc...
I hope I havent missed anyone out.. Well, that's why I put ETC.. Just in case if ppl ask, why arent their name up there I will say "Oh it's included in etc."
Anyway, I will try to make it as enjoyable for the kids as well as the adults.... It's your first, as well as mine. Will make it memorable to you. I wont trust daddy to hold the camera, if not at the end of the day, we will only have 15 pictures for the whole party....
Well, just now Christine read this birthday blog, she said she was excited too.. hahaha, even offered to do the invites. We talked bout cakes, themes and everything... First she got her wedding stuffs to worry now yours. hahaha, busy woman. Anyway, she said she will surf the net to see what theme is nice. Thank you thank you.....
I am still thinking of where to have it. Jiujiu said to do it at his place, but I dont think dad would want to. Anyway, we wont invite too many people. Just close friends....
Jada & family, Renee Reeve & family, YingYing & family, Zoee & family, KayShin & family, Davin darren & family, Lauren & family, Christine & Gary, Choon Yew & gf, SaSha & family, Belen & family, Ruey & family, Jonathan & family, julie & Simon, Mandy & Husband, Alvin & Rachmi etc...
I hope I havent missed anyone out.. Well, that's why I put ETC.. Just in case if ppl ask, why arent their name up there I will say "Oh it's included in etc."
Anyway, I will try to make it as enjoyable for the kids as well as the adults.... It's your first, as well as mine. Will make it memorable to you. I wont trust daddy to hold the camera, if not at the end of the day, we will only have 15 pictures for the whole party....
Well, just now Christine read this birthday blog, she said she was excited too.. hahaha, even offered to do the invites. We talked bout cakes, themes and everything... First she got her wedding stuffs to worry now yours. hahaha, busy woman. Anyway, she said she will surf the net to see what theme is nice. Thank you thank you.....
Best 10 Minutes
Yesterday when I reached home, I carried you into the room. You were lying beside me. That was the first time after so many months you rested on the bed for about 10 minutes. Since you know how to turn and crawl, you have never stopped moving... I was glad and enjoyed that moment so much. We laughed and sang songs. I heard my phone rang, but I cant be bothered. I wanted time to be alone with you, enjoying ourselves
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Let's Go For A Ride
Yesterday after dinner, pp, kk and I brought u to Tesco. You were a bit tired, though. So u kept quiet, looked around...
Before we left, pp brought u to the kid's playground. She put you on the machine (car), you know those where you put RM1, and the machine car starts moving. You enjoyed, in fact you loved it. You played with it and laughed out. When we tried to carry you up, you held on to the stering wheel so tightly...
These are all thank to kk, when you were just 3 months, he let you played with the stering wheels. Even nowadays, in the car, you will not sit tight. You would climb towards the stering wheels.
Before you were born, daddy and I never liked driving. We would push the keys to each other. Well, before you were 5 months, we would wanna carry you so much that we wont wanna drive. But now that you are always soooo active, we will rather drive... hahaha
You are here now in the office. Coulnt help it but to take pictures of you pretending to work. I kept on telling ppl you are the CEO jai,so wanted to show them how you work.. haha
Before we left, pp brought u to the kid's playground. She put you on the machine (car), you know those where you put RM1, and the machine car starts moving. You enjoyed, in fact you loved it. You played with it and laughed out. When we tried to carry you up, you held on to the stering wheel so tightly...
These are all thank to kk, when you were just 3 months, he let you played with the stering wheels. Even nowadays, in the car, you will not sit tight. You would climb towards the stering wheels.
Before you were born, daddy and I never liked driving. We would push the keys to each other. Well, before you were 5 months, we would wanna carry you so much that we wont wanna drive. But now that you are always soooo active, we will rather drive... hahaha
You are here now in the office. Coulnt help it but to take pictures of you pretending to work. I kept on telling ppl you are the CEO jai,so wanted to show them how you work.. haha
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
First Bump On the Head
Ohh... poor thing, you fell and knock your head. I wanted to cry when I saw the bump on your head. I blew up the pool (w/o water) so that you can play inside, trying to make it work like a playpen. Daddy & I went out to tabau for Ailyn, Mark & ourselves, so we left you at home with kakak. She put u on the floor to crawl. She told me she left you there and went to the kitchen for a while. Suddenly heard you cry out loud. According to her you wanted something in the pool, so you climb over and fell on your head. Poor thing. I felt so bad for leaving you at home. Thank god you're fine.
Anyway, Saturday afternoon Zoee came with Penny & CheeHow and Cookie (puppy). Your eyes followed Cookie everywhere. But when she moved closed to you, you moved back. Ha ha, wanna busy body, but scared. Zoee's very talkative too. Laughed so much.
Later in the evening, Ailyn & Mark brought Jada over. Jada is very talkative now too. I think the 1977 girls' babies are all talkative. Jada kept on pulling you. You seemed shy. Ha ha.
I noticed that everytime you havent enough sleep in the day, you will wake up crying in the middle of the night. Maybe you are too tired. Poor thing.
Just now pp brought you here for lunch. We call you the CEOjai. Cause u come in 1-2 hours, then go home. Whenever you come, you will turn my work place around. Open my drawer and start throwing things on the floor. By the time you leave, all my stationeries will be on the floor. But still, everyone in the office loves your presents.
Oh I just remembered.... Uncle Gary & Aunty Christine will be getting married on 1 January 2006. She wants me to help her coordinate her wedding in exchange for the website she helped me to do for you. So I told her that for her wedding, you will be wearing the traditional chinese attire for the morning and a lil' tux for the dinner. She said she can't wait to see you in your tux. Me, too....
Anyway, Saturday afternoon Zoee came with Penny & CheeHow and Cookie (puppy). Your eyes followed Cookie everywhere. But when she moved closed to you, you moved back. Ha ha, wanna busy body, but scared. Zoee's very talkative too. Laughed so much.
Later in the evening, Ailyn & Mark brought Jada over. Jada is very talkative now too. I think the 1977 girls' babies are all talkative. Jada kept on pulling you. You seemed shy. Ha ha.
I noticed that everytime you havent enough sleep in the day, you will wake up crying in the middle of the night. Maybe you are too tired. Poor thing.
Just now pp brought you here for lunch. We call you the CEOjai. Cause u come in 1-2 hours, then go home. Whenever you come, you will turn my work place around. Open my drawer and start throwing things on the floor. By the time you leave, all my stationeries will be on the floor. But still, everyone in the office loves your presents.
Oh I just remembered.... Uncle Gary & Aunty Christine will be getting married on 1 January 2006. She wants me to help her coordinate her wedding in exchange for the website she helped me to do for you. So I told her that for her wedding, you will be wearing the traditional chinese attire for the morning and a lil' tux for the dinner. She said she can't wait to see you in your tux. Me, too....
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Swing Swing Swing
Yesterday after work, went home, brought you to the playground again. You enjoyed the swing so much... Laughed so loud, I had it on camera, I wish I could put it up here, but don't think so, too bad. Then, jj put you on the slide.
pp cooked a dish (tomato & chilli sauce prawn). jj gave you a taste of the sauce only as it wasnt that spicy. Initially, you were fine, until the 7th taste, you felt the spiciness... hahaha, u made a face. So funny, I quickly gave you water. Your lips were red..... So cute.
After that, pp, jj and I bathe you. Now you know how to splash the water to make us wet. Naughty boy.
I havent been going out on my own since I had you. Last time, after work I would go shopping myself or even go to the gym. Now that I have you, I would rather head home right after work to see you, to play with you.....
pp cooked a dish (tomato & chilli sauce prawn). jj gave you a taste of the sauce only as it wasnt that spicy. Initially, you were fine, until the 7th taste, you felt the spiciness... hahaha, u made a face. So funny, I quickly gave you water. Your lips were red..... So cute.
After that, pp, jj and I bathe you. Now you know how to splash the water to make us wet. Naughty boy.
I havent been going out on my own since I had you. Last time, after work I would go shopping myself or even go to the gym. Now that I have you, I would rather head home right after work to see you, to play with you.....
Saturday, July 09, 2005
The Energiser
I call you the energiser, u know the battery "never say die"? U never seem to sit quietly. You're always on the move. Even when asleep, you will turn left and right, maybe 20 times before you sleep soundly. Sometimes I wonder if all babies are like that, or are you the only one?
Last time before I have you, I always thought Renee was the non-stop kid (although she still is now), but now you are just like her. Never sit still....
Well, I am not complaining, in fact I find it good. I dont expect my son to be the diam diam type. It's good to be active. I'm just worried sometimes, cause you don't want to sit in your car seat. It's no good. What to do, have to hold you tightly....
Last time before I have you, I always thought Renee was the non-stop kid (although she still is now), but now you are just like her. Never sit still....
Well, I am not complaining, in fact I find it good. I dont expect my son to be the diam diam type. It's good to be active. I'm just worried sometimes, cause you don't want to sit in your car seat. It's no good. What to do, have to hold you tightly....
Friday, July 08, 2005
Manja Fella
You are so manja nowadays, especially to me.... The other night I pretended to be asleep, used the blanket to cover my head. You kept on pulling my blanket. You moved towards me, closed your eyes. After 10 seconds, you woke up and climb on me... Until I sayang you ask you go sleep, only you slept soundly... hahaha.
Nowadays, we cannot feed you when we are having dinner, cause you will not eat your own food. You want to eat adult food.... If pp feed you porridge, you will pull my hand so that I give you our food...
On Tuesday, jiu jiu and I brought u to the playground opposite our house. Put you on the swing. You enjoyed so much. You are so playful. Too bad I didnt bring my video cam. Missed that, never mind, I will make sure the next time we go, I will bring the cam.
After that daddy and I went to Babyland, we were supposed to buy the door, but we ended up buying u a new toy... You loved it so much, until you feel down the second time. Poor thing, then u rather sit on the floor and play with it than riding on it..
Well, today pp brought u to office, you were so so happy, cause the past two days you were at home all day. You played and laughed so much just now... We went over to the restaurant for lunch. All you wanted was the kickapoo.
Nowadays, we cannot feed you when we are having dinner, cause you will not eat your own food. You want to eat adult food.... If pp feed you porridge, you will pull my hand so that I give you our food...
On Tuesday, jiu jiu and I brought u to the playground opposite our house. Put you on the swing. You enjoyed so much. You are so playful. Too bad I didnt bring my video cam. Missed that, never mind, I will make sure the next time we go, I will bring the cam.
After that daddy and I went to Babyland, we were supposed to buy the door, but we ended up buying u a new toy... You loved it so much, until you feel down the second time. Poor thing, then u rather sit on the floor and play with it than riding on it..
Well, today pp brought u to office, you were so so happy, cause the past two days you were at home all day. You played and laughed so much just now... We went over to the restaurant for lunch. All you wanted was the kickapoo.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Breast Feeding...
Before I was pregnant, Auntie Muy Ch'ng told me lots about breast feeding. She told me it's the best you can give your child. That didnt mean anything to me. Until I found out that I was pregnant and reading lots of pregnancy books, I would consider Auntie MC the most 'wai tai' mummy.
I told myself I would breast feed. I want the best for you. I bought everything, from breast pump to breast pad, from milk disposable plastic to nursing bra... everything I could find for breast feeding.
Auntie Ailyn and I even went for breastfeeding classes. We both were so determine to give our babies the best.
Well, after you were born, I did breast fed, and it wasnt at all easy. As I have said, I was really sick for the first one week after having you, I didnt direct breast feed you, just a few times. I expressed out, and there weren't a lot. But I didnt give up.
There were times when I expressed out and ask the nanny to feed you, she said later & later, she threw them away... When I got to know it, I cried... It's like throwing my heart away. I was trying so hard and it definately wasnt easy, and she suka suka went and throw them away..
Well, I guess it's because I didnt let you suck, there were really little milk... I was so sad, I cried so much (I was really emotional during this time) daddy said it's okay, just feed you formula, everyone's like that.. but to me, you are not just anyone, you are my son. I want the best for you. I know I am not so strong, so I want you to have the anitbody from my milk to keep you strong...
Anyway, what happen had happened.... It's good that now you are as healthy.
I told myself I would breast feed. I want the best for you. I bought everything, from breast pump to breast pad, from milk disposable plastic to nursing bra... everything I could find for breast feeding.
Auntie Ailyn and I even went for breastfeeding classes. We both were so determine to give our babies the best.
Well, after you were born, I did breast fed, and it wasnt at all easy. As I have said, I was really sick for the first one week after having you, I didnt direct breast feed you, just a few times. I expressed out, and there weren't a lot. But I didnt give up.
There were times when I expressed out and ask the nanny to feed you, she said later & later, she threw them away... When I got to know it, I cried... It's like throwing my heart away. I was trying so hard and it definately wasnt easy, and she suka suka went and throw them away..
Well, I guess it's because I didnt let you suck, there were really little milk... I was so sad, I cried so much (I was really emotional during this time) daddy said it's okay, just feed you formula, everyone's like that.. but to me, you are not just anyone, you are my son. I want the best for you. I know I am not so strong, so I want you to have the anitbody from my milk to keep you strong...
Anyway, what happen had happened.... It's good that now you are as healthy.
Happy Full Moon
1 Nov, woke up 930am to pray. Pray kuan yin po yau RayErn kin kin hong hong, fai guo cheong tai. Went to Overseas Restaurant. The Yap Family....
The Tan Family full moon, pp cooked. All 3 yi poh, WengKee, Teng, Melvin, Alicia, James came.
After they left, I held you in my arms, looked at every inch of you. You grew so fast. Thank god I kept a journal of you and took so many photo of you. Have to watch you closely... I took photo of you week by week. Daddy said I am mad.
2 Nov, went to make your birth certh. They told me to come back MY KID card. That's cute. we adult - MY KAD, kids - MY KID.
You are getting cuter each day. U get so irritated when I put my face on yours. You will push me away with your hands. Naughty boy. Your favorite person is jj, cause he talks to you everyday... You smile a lot.
We went to give out the full moon packages. A token of appreciation from those who gave you pressies. After that we brought you to Great Eastern Mall. You were so happy. When you were in the car, you kept on looking outside. Your eyes were following the trees, the cars. You seemed so curious....
The Tan Family full moon, pp cooked. All 3 yi poh, WengKee, Teng, Melvin, Alicia, James came.
After they left, I held you in my arms, looked at every inch of you. You grew so fast. Thank god I kept a journal of you and took so many photo of you. Have to watch you closely... I took photo of you week by week. Daddy said I am mad.
2 Nov, went to make your birth certh. They told me to come back MY KID card. That's cute. we adult - MY KAD, kids - MY KID.
You are getting cuter each day. U get so irritated when I put my face on yours. You will push me away with your hands. Naughty boy. Your favorite person is jj, cause he talks to you everyday... You smile a lot.
We went to give out the full moon packages. A token of appreciation from those who gave you pressies. After that we brought you to Great Eastern Mall. You were so happy. When you were in the car, you kept on looking outside. Your eyes were following the trees, the cars. You seemed so curious....
The Confinement
The worst thing about having a baby is not the pregnancy, not the labour, not even the pain but the confinement...
According to the chinese custom, we are not allowed to wash our hair or even leave the house for 1 month. During confinement, we are supposed to stay in the house and not do anything, just sleep and eat. Not even to take care of your baby. That's so funny...Well, I couldnt stand not washing my hair. I washed after 2 weeks.
13 Oct, went to doc to remove my stitches. Took a look at my scar for the first time. Yuck... My weight was 63kg. Doc said the wound has healed but the inner one takes up to 3 months. No urut. Damn it. After that went to makan char siu fan and shopped a while.. he he..
You dont feel good these days, dunno why. Maybe cause of the rain. You dont seemed to sleep well these days. Maybe too manja already, everyone carrying in and out.
18 Oct, your umblical cord came out. Now got colic, very bad colic. I have been talking to you so much. You sleep with me in the afternoon.
22 Oct, Ailyn came, but according to the confinement lady, pregnant women cannot touch you. So, she came but cannot see you... Yesterday, pp went to the temple. Brought home a "foo" and a stamped shirt. All these chinese old folk belief.
24 Oct, you didnt wanna sleep, so went out to watch soccer with daddy & jj. I carried you and talk you to sleep. You woke up again at 2am, pass motion, it was green, really green....
Colic is the culprit. You were so disturbed by it. Poor thing, I've checked the internet, when babies have colic, they will look tensed & curl up their legs.
According to the chinese custom, we are not allowed to wash our hair or even leave the house for 1 month. During confinement, we are supposed to stay in the house and not do anything, just sleep and eat. Not even to take care of your baby. That's so funny...Well, I couldnt stand not washing my hair. I washed after 2 weeks.
13 Oct, went to doc to remove my stitches. Took a look at my scar for the first time. Yuck... My weight was 63kg. Doc said the wound has healed but the inner one takes up to 3 months. No urut. Damn it. After that went to makan char siu fan and shopped a while.. he he..
You dont feel good these days, dunno why. Maybe cause of the rain. You dont seemed to sleep well these days. Maybe too manja already, everyone carrying in and out.
18 Oct, your umblical cord came out. Now got colic, very bad colic. I have been talking to you so much. You sleep with me in the afternoon.
22 Oct, Ailyn came, but according to the confinement lady, pregnant women cannot touch you. So, she came but cannot see you... Yesterday, pp went to the temple. Brought home a "foo" and a stamped shirt. All these chinese old folk belief.
24 Oct, you didnt wanna sleep, so went out to watch soccer with daddy & jj. I carried you and talk you to sleep. You woke up again at 2am, pass motion, it was green, really green....
Colic is the culprit. You were so disturbed by it. Poor thing, I've checked the internet, when babies have colic, they will look tensed & curl up their legs.
Home Sweet Home
Dr Alex came. He said I could go home but must wait for the paediatrician's approval too. Both signed and off we went. Before we left, they gave me a short lecture about how to clean and take care of you.
Daddy went to pick up the confinement lady. We went home.
Once you wanna eat, you will cry out so loud. You wouldnt give time for us to make.
The next day, I had asthma attack. Went to hospital, matter of life & death... It was something like in ER. Emergency room, needles here and there... blood from my hand flowed like nobody's business....
It was not that serious actually, but I panicked. I cannot let anything happen to me, I have you... You need me!!
I got discharged the next day. I missed you so much.
Daddy went to pick up the confinement lady. We went home.
Once you wanna eat, you will cry out so loud. You wouldnt give time for us to make.
The next day, I had asthma attack. Went to hospital, matter of life & death... It was something like in ER. Emergency room, needles here and there... blood from my hand flowed like nobody's business....
It was not that serious actually, but I panicked. I cannot let anything happen to me, I have you... You need me!!
I got discharged the next day. I missed you so much.
The Next Day...
5 October 2004
Doc said you had jauntice. Need to be under the light for 24 hours. So I need to breastfeed in the nursery. You didnt seemed to wanna suck anymore, I was so sad. The nurse said because I didnt feed him yesterday (flu) so he doesnt know how to latch on anymore.
My breast encorged. Really hard, really painful. I asked daddy to bring my breastpump.
The 2nd time I went to the nursery, I saw them leaving you in the feeding place alone, crying so loudly. I got up so quickly, walked over to hold you up, I even forgot my pain. Maybe this is what they called mother's love...
Doc said you had jauntice. Need to be under the light for 24 hours. So I need to breastfeed in the nursery. You didnt seemed to wanna suck anymore, I was so sad. The nurse said because I didnt feed him yesterday (flu) so he doesnt know how to latch on anymore.
My breast encorged. Really hard, really painful. I asked daddy to bring my breastpump.
The 2nd time I went to the nursery, I saw them leaving you in the feeding place alone, crying so loudly. I got up so quickly, walked over to hold you up, I even forgot my pain. Maybe this is what they called mother's love...
Meet, The First Time
4 October 2004
Asked them to bring you over. When I first saw you, I was like "Wow, you are beautiful, you are my son" I have waited 9 months, and holding you in my arms is the best thing that have happened to me. I breastfed you. You were so cute. After the feeding, I put you on the bed with me. I touched every inch of you. Your skin so soft...At one point, I thought I might hurt you too....
Well, kk, pp mixed up your weight. It was 3.09kg not 3.9kg. Anyway, as long as you are healthy, that's enough. I was still blur and nausea. Nurse gave me some pills to stop the nausea. Lots of calls, but I was really tired. Couldnt eat much. Damn painful. I refused to take the pain killer as I was breastfeeding.
I had sore throat and flu, so I thought I had to give you formula milk instead. I didnt wanna pass the flu to you. A lot of people came to visit you. Janie, Ronnie, Renee, Nicole, Avvy, Davin, Johnny, Sandy, Julie, Simon, Billy Audrey & Chun Yew....
They all blamed daddy for not being here with me.He was guilty enough. Well, he didnt want to.
Asked them to bring you over. When I first saw you, I was like "Wow, you are beautiful, you are my son" I have waited 9 months, and holding you in my arms is the best thing that have happened to me. I breastfed you. You were so cute. After the feeding, I put you on the bed with me. I touched every inch of you. Your skin so soft...At one point, I thought I might hurt you too....
Well, kk, pp mixed up your weight. It was 3.09kg not 3.9kg. Anyway, as long as you are healthy, that's enough. I was still blur and nausea. Nurse gave me some pills to stop the nausea. Lots of calls, but I was really tired. Couldnt eat much. Damn painful. I refused to take the pain killer as I was breastfeeding.
I had sore throat and flu, so I thought I had to give you formula milk instead. I didnt wanna pass the flu to you. A lot of people came to visit you. Janie, Ronnie, Renee, Nicole, Avvy, Davin, Johnny, Sandy, Julie, Simon, Billy Audrey & Chun Yew....
They all blamed daddy for not being here with me.He was guilty enough. Well, he didnt want to.
4 October 2004
Asked them to bring you over. When I first saw you, I was like "Wow, you are beautiful, you are my son" I have waited 9 months, and holding you in my arms is the best thing that have happened to me. I breastfed you. You were so cute. After the feeding, I put you on the bed with me. I touched every inch of you. Your skin so soft...At one point, I thought I might hurt you too....
Well, kk, pp mixed up your weight. It was 3.09kg not 3.9kg. Anyway, as long as you are healthy, that's enough. I was still blur and nausea. Nurse gave me some pills to stop the nausea. Lots of calls, but I was really tired. Couldnt eat much. Damn painful. I refused to take the pain killer as I was breastfeeding.
I had sore throat and flu, so I thought I had to give you formula milk instead. I didnt wanna pass the flu to you. A lot of people came to visit you. Janie, Ronnie, Renee, Nicole, Avvy, Davin, Johnny, Sandy, Julie, Simon, Billy Audrey & Chun Yew....
They all blamed daddy for not being here with me.He was guilty enough. Well, he didnt want to.
Asked them to bring you over. When I first saw you, I was like "Wow, you are beautiful, you are my son" I have waited 9 months, and holding you in my arms is the best thing that have happened to me. I breastfed you. You were so cute. After the feeding, I put you on the bed with me. I touched every inch of you. Your skin so soft...At one point, I thought I might hurt you too....
Well, kk, pp mixed up your weight. It was 3.09kg not 3.9kg. Anyway, as long as you are healthy, that's enough. I was still blur and nausea. Nurse gave me some pills to stop the nausea. Lots of calls, but I was really tired. Couldnt eat much. Damn painful. I refused to take the pain killer as I was breastfeeding.
I had sore throat and flu, so I thought I had to give you formula milk instead. I didnt wanna pass the flu to you. A lot of people came to visit you. Janie, Ronnie, Renee, Nicole, Avvy, Davin, Johnny, Sandy, Julie, Simon, Billy Audrey & Chun Yew....
They all blamed daddy for not being here with me.He was guilty enough. Well, he didnt want to.
The After Birth
When I woke up, I was already in the ward. I was so blur. All I could hear were...your son's very handsome, he's 3.9kg. My wound was so painful.
Then they all left, only jj stayed with me. I even heard jj calling daddy, asking him isn't he back yet. ha ha... I still have not seen you.I was so tired. Woke up again at 0300 hours, daddy was back. He slept with me a while. I askked him to go back first as I needed to sleep also. Slept till the next morning, pp brought me food.
Then they all left, only jj stayed with me. I even heard jj calling daddy, asking him isn't he back yet. ha ha... I still have not seen you.I was so tired. Woke up again at 0300 hours, daddy was back. He slept with me a while. I askked him to go back first as I needed to sleep also. Slept till the next morning, pp brought me food.
Saturday, July 02, 2005
The Labour...
3 October 2004
0230 hours - Woke up, water bag burst but no labour pain. Didnt know whether it really is or not. My due date was 15 Oct, now it's 2 weeks earlier. But i remembered doctor said, if you are not sure, just walk around, if water keeps on coming out, it's labour.....I did and yes, it was labour.
I think it's fate, dad not around. Well, forgivable, as we didn't expect you to arrive 2 weeks earlier. Anyway, I woke pohpoh(pp) and kungkung(kk) up to send me to hospital. Went to take my bath. Lucky I did the pre-admission thing, everything was fast. Nurse pushed me into Labour Room 5.
Got changed to their ward dress. They put some sensor on my tummy, one showed your movement and the other my contractions. I asked kk and pp togo home first as I don't think I will deliver so fast, and they need to rest. After they left, the nurse came to check my cervix, no dilation. No labour pain, no contractions. Nurse asked me to sleep first as I'll have a hard time later. I asked her if there were any cases where labour is no pain??? She said never.... After they left, I started to write this, and took a few photo of the labour room....
0230 hours - Woke up, water bag burst but no labour pain. Didnt know whether it really is or not. My due date was 15 Oct, now it's 2 weeks earlier. But i remembered doctor said, if you are not sure, just walk around, if water keeps on coming out, it's labour.....I did and yes, it was labour.
I think it's fate, dad not around. Well, forgivable, as we didn't expect you to arrive 2 weeks earlier. Anyway, I woke pohpoh(pp) and kungkung(kk) up to send me to hospital. Went to take my bath. Lucky I did the pre-admission thing, everything was fast. Nurse pushed me into Labour Room 5.
Got changed to their ward dress. They put some sensor on my tummy, one showed your movement and the other my contractions. I asked kk and pp togo home first as I don't think I will deliver so fast, and they need to rest. After they left, the nurse came to check my cervix, no dilation. No labour pain, no contractions. Nurse asked me to sleep first as I'll have a hard time later. I asked her if there were any cases where labour is no pain??? She said never.... After they left, I started to write this, and took a few photo of the labour room....
Rested...You sleep when I lie on my back, so the nurse asked me to lie on my side to wake you up. Your heart rate should remain between 120-160.
Couldnt get myself to sleep, so started to sms everyone. Sms-ed Ka Hoe, no reply.
They gave me enema to clear my bowel. Very tired but still can't sleep. Still no contraction. Called KaHoe to wake daddy up. Talked to him, He also can't sleep... Wished he was here. He very kan cheong also.
0630 hours - Finally feel asleep...
0700 hours - Dr Alex came. He said after water bag burst within 24 hours must deliver, cause there are risks of infection. If 12 hours still no contraction, have to induce. If induce still no contraction/dilation, very high possibility of caeserean... damn... After breakfast, no solid food. Cervix dilated 1.5 - 2cm (birth 10cm).
0730 hours - Slept
0800 hours - Woke up for breakfast. Just had a slice of bread. Nurse asked me to walk around, as this would speed up dilation. I walked for half & hour.
Phone no battery, called pp to bring my charger. pp came at 10am brought breakfast, but I can't eat.
Called daddy, Ailyn & Sandy.... Still nothing, walked again, tried tog et some sleep.
1400 hours - Dr Alex came, said to induce. He didnt check my cervix cause if water bag burst it's not advisable to check too often as it may lead to infection. He said induce most for 7 hours. Latest by 2100 hours must deliver. I waited and waited... still no sign. Contraction increased but no pain at all....
Ailyn & Mark came. Followed by jiujiu(jj), nicole, avvy davin and pp..... Like having a party or something. They all left bout 1900 hours. MaMa(mm) & Kuku(ku) came. Felt a lot of water. Must be 2nd time water bag burst. I intercomed the nurses. She came and said no dilation. Still 1.5 - 2cm. Right after that Dr came. Checked - he said it wouldn't happen, even in the next 2 hours. He suggested C-Section.Well, do I have a choice???
I was so scared. pp, kk & jj went home. daddy not here.... Still can't get him, called KH, David also can't get. At last got him just before going into the operation theater... Cried so much. I never was scared about labour.. All I'm scared is the CUT....
The anaesthetist came, told him I had asthma. He said he will check my lungs to see if I can go for general anaestatic. Went into the theater.. The last thing I remembered was the oxygen.....
On & On & On...
16/8/04 - 30 wks now, but your head seemed bigger 35 wks already. Doc said it can be dangerous, if found fluid in the head. I was so scared. Went to the doc alone. On the way back, I cried so much. I was so worried. I told jiujiu. I called dad. We went to another doc in TTDI to do a 3D scan. Doc Alex said just to make sure. Thank god, doc said everything's okay. But I couldnt see your face, cause you were looking backwards.
Well, towards the end of the pregnancy. I really couldn't wait for you to come out. I feel my tummy so heavy. I look like a potato... Heavy and clumpsy. We decided to give you a name, Aidan... Ailyn & I went to the breastfeeding class. It's nothing new, we read everything from the books. 17/9/04 - 72kg 23/9/04 - 73.5kg
We changed our minds, RAY ERN is the name... I can see you move inside me... like waves. I LOVE YOU.
Well, towards the end of the pregnancy. I really couldn't wait for you to come out. I feel my tummy so heavy. I look like a potato... Heavy and clumpsy. We decided to give you a name, Aidan... Ailyn & I went to the breastfeeding class. It's nothing new, we read everything from the books. 17/9/04 - 72kg 23/9/04 - 73.5kg
We changed our minds, RAY ERN is the name... I can see you move inside me... like waves. I LOVE YOU.
Still Going.....
23/6/04 - IT'S A BOY!!! He showed me your penis... he said like a rifle. haha Ohh... i have stopped going to Dr Jeremy, instead I started to go to Ailyn's doc (Dr. Alex) Doc said it's like disco inside my tummy. You were so active. That's nice to know. I was in my 23th week (weight 63.5kg) but you seemed to be 25th already.
Doc said my stomach looked nice,no stretch marks. Lucky me. I told him I have very bad backache. I dunno why. He said most probably it's the posture. I did a blood test, it showed that my hemoglobin were low, so he gave me supplements. My nose bleed 4 times this month. I was so bloated. Water retention i guess. Sandy gave me a whole lists.. of things to do & buy. Throughout this pregnancy, I was not afraid at all about the labour. All I was afraid was the Episiotomy. I cannot stand thinking of the cut...
Doc said my stomach looked nice,no stretch marks. Lucky me. I told him I have very bad backache. I dunno why. He said most probably it's the posture. I did a blood test, it showed that my hemoglobin were low, so he gave me supplements. My nose bleed 4 times this month. I was so bloated. Water retention i guess. Sandy gave me a whole lists.. of things to do & buy. Throughout this pregnancy, I was not afraid at all about the labour. All I was afraid was the Episiotomy. I cannot stand thinking of the cut...
Summary Goes On....
My diet has totally changed. I don't like to eat seafood and chocolates, instead I eat lots of carbohydrate and loves spicy food. I eat lots of meals but thank god they are all small meals. 1/3/04 - Went to Doc. hehe I saw your heartbeat. So cute, so tiny... blinking blinking. Wow, there is a life growing in me. That is the best gift. I started to read alot nowadays. Well, according to the experts, they said it's good for you. I thought, no harm reading.
31/3/04 - Went to Doc again. I saw you jumping. Oh my god,, you are already so active inside.. Wait till you come out. Doc said I was 11 weeks, but your size was 12. Big Baby. After the checkup, dad and I went for lunch in Bangsar. Suddenly out of sudden, I was sweating, my face went pale and total blackout. Dad sent me to the clinic next door. The doc said it's ok for pregnant women to have blackout. 2nd month of pregnancy - 56.5kg 4th month of pregnancy - 56.6kg After I had you, I had short term memory loss. I can't remember things even just 5 minutes ago. That's bad. Everyone told me to start talking to you. I find it a bit weird, as I really dunno what to say to you. Instead I just sang... to my tummy.. to you.
I have decided to breastfeed, as that is the best for you. I only wish I can do it. Cause dad thought that it would be too tiring to breastfeed especially during the confinement period. So he got a nanny for me. I have been going to the toilet so often. Doc said because you are sitting on my bladder, so as time goes, you become biggger, I will go even more often. 20/5/04 - Went to doc, in the scan I saw you putting your hand into your mouth. Doc said you must be very "wai sik" I was 60kg already. Oh god, I am so afraid I put on too much weight. Doc said I shouldn't be eating eggs and drink milk. ??? Isn't this weird? Dad doesn't like him, how can a doc advise a pregnant women not to eat or drink these? Anyway, dad suggested we change doc.
I thought of some names today, boy - Aidan, Xan, Hanz girl - Sharmayne, Sharlynn I can feel you move so much nowadays, especially when I am getting ready to go to bed. Why is that so? Don't tell me you are going to stay awake only at nights. I read from somewhere, they said that babies usually are more active in the night. Still can't see your sex yet. Doesn't really matter though, as long as you are healthy....
31/3/04 - Went to Doc again. I saw you jumping. Oh my god,, you are already so active inside.. Wait till you come out. Doc said I was 11 weeks, but your size was 12. Big Baby. After the checkup, dad and I went for lunch in Bangsar. Suddenly out of sudden, I was sweating, my face went pale and total blackout. Dad sent me to the clinic next door. The doc said it's ok for pregnant women to have blackout. 2nd month of pregnancy - 56.5kg 4th month of pregnancy - 56.6kg After I had you, I had short term memory loss. I can't remember things even just 5 minutes ago. That's bad. Everyone told me to start talking to you. I find it a bit weird, as I really dunno what to say to you. Instead I just sang... to my tummy.. to you.
I have decided to breastfeed, as that is the best for you. I only wish I can do it. Cause dad thought that it would be too tiring to breastfeed especially during the confinement period. So he got a nanny for me. I have been going to the toilet so often. Doc said because you are sitting on my bladder, so as time goes, you become biggger, I will go even more often. 20/5/04 - Went to doc, in the scan I saw you putting your hand into your mouth. Doc said you must be very "wai sik" I was 60kg already. Oh god, I am so afraid I put on too much weight. Doc said I shouldn't be eating eggs and drink milk. ??? Isn't this weird? Dad doesn't like him, how can a doc advise a pregnant women not to eat or drink these? Anyway, dad suggested we change doc.
I thought of some names today, boy - Aidan, Xan, Hanz girl - Sharmayne, Sharlynn I can feel you move so much nowadays, especially when I am getting ready to go to bed. Why is that so? Don't tell me you are going to stay awake only at nights. I read from somewhere, they said that babies usually are more active in the night. Still can't see your sex yet. Doesn't really matter though, as long as you are healthy....
The Summary Continues
On Valentine's Day, we were in Avvy's house. When I went to the toilet, I saw a blood spot. I was so worried, dad brought me to Pantai Hospital as it was a Saturday night there were no clinics, even for the next day. They gave me a jab, plus some hormone pills, and asked me not to move to much. The best is to just rest and sleep... On Monday morning, we went straight to Dr Jeremy. He said my pregnancy is not stable. Out of 10, 2 women will loose their babies. He won't said that it's stable until he sees the heartbeat. And before I left the clinic, he told me "Remember don't go around telling people you are pregnant. It's still unstable." Oh my god, how can he do this to me. He said to go back to see him after 2 weeks, hopefully by then he can see the heartbeat. In the meantime, rest well. Do not walk too much. I started to drink milk, which I hate most. But for the sake of you, I have to force myself to do so. Have to have lots of fibre and calcium.
The Summary
Well, this is a summary of my days before your birth. Just a little summary before I start my journal.... 7/2/04 - I bought a pregnancy test kit without Jeff's knowledge... and it was +ve. Wanted to reconfirm, we went to a doctor (Dr. Jeremy) in Bangsar, but he was closed so we just went into any clinic we could find. Confirmeed... The first's to know were.. pohpoh, kungkung (in China) and jiujiu... Also not forgetting your khaima, although she was a bit guilty for bringing me to Nouvo just a week ago. haha... After that I couldn't really sleep well. There were so much in my mind. How? What? Everything... Anyway, I got through with it quite okay.. for the time being.
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